Rob Me? Sorry, Hon. I'm From Baltimore!

I’ve been awful about blogging, I know! It’s just that things have been slow with my practicum (will explain in the next blog)… so honestly, there isn’t much to talk about :/.

Girl, what dates you talking about?: June 23rd

I would have posted about this sooner but between needing a day or two to process the event and my internet being weird, some time has passed. 

First Personal Encounter with Nairobbery ( or really, robbery of any kind)





So, we were ambushed by a group of 6 or so guys last weekend that came for our purses. We were not harmed in any major way. Collectively we only lost a pair of glasses, a purse, and a phone. Only the glasses were mine. It was a quick snatch and run. It looked like a group of relatively young guys who were looking for convenient targets. We had barely left one bar to head to another that was pretty close by (we could still see the last bar that we were at right behind us when it happened). The road was not completely lit but it was far from deserted, so we figured it would be okay for such a short distance. *insert buzzer sound* Wrong! Thankfully, I made the person that came after me regret that shit. I flipped him to the ground and kept my stuff. The only thing I personally lost was my favorite pair of glasses in the scuffle. At a cost of 15 bucks, it's no big loss but grrr… those frames are sold out everywhere! However, the thing I am most disappointed by is that there were a ton of witnesses but no one intervened. Not a single person. Yet, after the thieves left, people started to stand up as if they were planning to do something. Wackness personified, furreal. Just go ahead and keep sitting on your wack asses, please.

 Lessons learned:

1) Keep an eye on what your company is doing and watch out for a lapse of street smarts. Crimes are only committed because criminals are present and are never the victims’ fault… but there are ways to mitigate risk in the presence of criminals. I learned after the fact that the person I was with was texting at the time. Frankly, I think this was the primary magnet. Hell, this is a bad idea at 1am in the morning in Atlanta, Baltimore, Columbus or the myriad of cities you may be reading my blog from. It’s certainly a terrible idea in Nairobi—where cell phone theft is the most common petty crime that takes place. Seriously, I wonder how many people in the town successfully make it through the course of the year without having to replace their cell phone at least once due to theft.  The most problematic bit about this is that in the eyes of an amateur criminal looking for a quick hit, the message broadcasted is: “1) carrying a purse= money and other goodies; 2) leaving a bar= likely inebriated, therefore easy fight; 3) looking down at phone= completely distracted and yet another prized item for my taking. Add it all up and I have a high probability of success here.” The light from a cell phone at night to criminals is the same as a light bulb to mosquitoes looking for blood to suck.

2) Carrying your purse like a football works!



In the a lot of public transit systems (I've heard this in NYC and Baltimore), passengers are instructed to carry their purse like a football rather than relying on their straps . In addition to wrapping the strap around your arm/shoulder, you turn your purse upside down, grab the clasp/zipper, and hold the bag itself under your arm. This makes it particularly difficult to just run up on someone and snatch it away from them. I have been carrying my purse this way for a long time and it came in handy this particular evening. My purse didn’t even have a zipper, yet none of my purse’s contents fell out during the struggle to keep it. Thanks for this one, Nonye!

3) I’m physically stronger than I thought. I’m not particularly humble about my ability to fight but seeing as I am an adult and do not solve my problems with violence, it has been quite some time since it’s been tested. I am sure the dudes that came after me was like, "Fuck, why did we pick the big bitch?” I definitely lifted this one dude off the ground in the process of flipping him over. Boo Boo, I am not the one! *snaps* Got light scrapes on my knee and elbow in the process, but you didn't get my shit! Neener, neener, neeeeeeeener!

4) My instincts are pretty good. I heard rapid footsteps approaching (largely thanks to not being distracted in any other way) and thought “this don’t sound kosher”. I turned around immediately and had them in my line of vision before they were in purse-snatching distance. Moreover, I was able to appropriately gauge the high likelihood of not having to contend with an assailant’s weapon.

5) Lastly, a taxi is never too expensive. Even for very short distances, I will now more frequently cough up the extra couple of dollars to get to where I need to go.

I know some of y’all are thinking “damn Nneka, it was too dangerous to fight back just let the purse go”. Ordinarily, I would agree and do NOT endorse the course of action I took in this scenario. Most street safety guides say "never fight back". However, my personal risk assessment was as follows: Growing up in an economically-depressed-and-not-so-safe metropolitan area has taught me that thieves like to move quickly in and out of the scene of the crime. If they have a weapon, it’s presented at the beginning of the crime, not the end, as it expedites the process. Moreover, while the witnesses were inactive during the purse snatch (sadly, not an uncommon group reaction to stuff like this), something like a stabbing greatly changes the nature of the crime being committed and thus increases the likelihood of outside intervention. So, during the time I had to make my “fight or flight” decision, I opted for “fight”. I don’t regret making that choice. My only regret was not dragging my assailant’s face through the pavement when I had him on the ground.

This could have easily happened in Baltimore, Columbus, or Atlanta and unfortunately some of you reading have your own tales of such experiences in each of these cities. So do not leave this entry thinking “damn, Africans be crazy”. This shit happens everywhere that criminals exist. At least now I know that I can handle it. However, I’d greatly prefer to not be tested again. I won’t let this stop me from enjoying the nightlife but I will definitely be more diligent on my future excursions.

P.S.:
Holy shit, I was attacked by a group, kept my shit (sans glasses), and left the encounter with self-induced scratches to the knee and elbow. Call me a weirdo but I’m totally proud of myself. Let's call this another entry to “The List of Reasons That It’s Not Advisable to Fuck with Nneka M., Ya Heard?” Haha.

P.P.S.
Stay safe, y’all!

Up Next: Hopefully I will finally finish my entry on my practicum, or lack thereof, thus far.